The funny thing about it is that as rare as the elusive Female Dominant is, the male submissive is far less rare. The number of male submissives tends to outnumber female dominants 10:1 actually...
A little more in depth analysis of my world at the time included a need to be guided, controlled, shown I wasn't a wreck like I'd been led to believe. I needed someone to show me the way the world could work with the goals I started to establish when I was younger.
In short, I was crying out.
BDSM gave me a productive, non destructive path out of the mess in my head. The stories came easily because I was a wreck and the characters I wrote could take on different aspects of me. So yeah, in the early days there was a lot of "me" in the stories because writers draw from what they know to create what becomes new.
Plus, because I like chasing money, Female Dominance was a way for me to establish myself in both the Scene and the erotica world as a credible author.
Once again, that indestructible inspiration for Mistress Kitty was actually mentioned and the star of sorts, in "The Punishment Due." The story title came from a Megadeth song by the same name It happens to be that the very same song was playing when a Russian Wetworks team came hunting for the REAL Mistress Kitty after she'd stolen one too many eggs from them.
Too bad they found her.
I wrote a lot of these stories to really angry metal. No surprise there. Megadeth had NOTHING to do with any of the stories here, or the setting. I can't write to the awesomeness that is Dave Mustaine.
Around that time, Distrubed's first album came out and that made for a GREAT BDSM album.
My full journey into BDSM came in 2001 when I had a Mistress and we met because I had to have her...but see the note above about the Russian Spetsnaz..
How about a lovely excerpt?
From The Punishment Due
Shaking, he'd managed to get out of the car and ran over to Christine, who walked slowly toward him. He took her leather suitcases and carried them to the car.
Still shaking, he bowed his head.
"So nice of you to be sober in coming to pick up your mistress. Put my luggage in the back seat and take me home."
Something else was on her mind, good. Sascha did as she asked, carefully setting her suitcase in the back seat.
Rushing around to open her door, he almost tripped over the curb again.
Christine's snicker was worth hearing, because it wasn't an angry growl.
Sascha watched her sit down, moving a few reddish blond hairs behind her ear. She looked at him, her eyes weary from a long flight back. Still, her expression said it all. Aggravation.
"Well? What are you waiting for? Shut the damn door."
The heat outside wasn't the only thing causing him to sweat. "I'm sorry," he said as he bowed his head. Shutting her door, he trotted over to the other side and got into the driver's seat.
"I was only gone three weeks. Can you not handle yourself for that long without me?"
Turning to face her with lowered eyes, Sascha said nothing.
"I can't," he yelled.
Flinching when he saw her hand rise, Sascha leaned back into the leather seat.
Sighing, she put her hand down. "It figures. It's okay. I missed you too." She glanced at the people passing by before turning back to him. "I have a new toy for us to try out, or rather, for you to help me demonstrate. I picked up a few things while I was out. Aren't you glad I was thinking of you?"
"Yes, ma'am." Sascha's eyes remained lowered.
"Good boy. Now, drive us home."
Putting the car in gear, he pulled out of the space and drove home. The deafening silence between them only made Sascha more nervous as he tried to focus on the road. Expecting her to yell at him or beat him in public like a former mistress did, he'd been terrified of Christine's return, especially since he'd disobeyed her last night by getting trashed at the bar.
At least she'd held his hand as they drove back. Hers on top, of course.
Pulling into the driveway, Christine squeezed Sascha's hand. He turned, staring into her beautiful hazel eyes, "You will serve me over the next few days, like you have never done before, do you understand?"
"Good boy. Now get my things. We'll start tonight."
Sascha started to get out of the car, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Wait," she said. "I forgot this." Christine reached into her jacket and pulled out a black cock ring. "I have company coming over later tonight and you will be wearing this while they are here. Understand?"
Taking the piece of leather in hand, Sascha examined it. It was your typical cock ring, small, stretchy and wearable for long periods. He started to put it in his pocket but Christine stopped him again.
Her evil expression showed clearly in her eyes. "You know what? Give our next door neighbor a show. Come back for my luggage in only the cock ring." She grinned, nodding her head.
"Yes, Mrs. Crenshaw. She's had her eye on you, and I'd like to flaunt you in front of her. Besides, it's not as if she hasn't seen you in a dress before."
Sascha sighed, remembering the day he came out in a short skirt, his body bruised and sore. He winced as Mrs. Crenshaw smiled at him and Christine.
"There'll be no disagreements with that, unless you want her to come over tonight too."
"Nothing." She raised one hand and put two fingers to his lips.
Christine got out of the car, waving at Mrs. Crenshaw, who was tending her garden. Sascha admittedly had no interest in relationships with any women other than Christine, but his mistake was admitting he'd been curious about men. The day he told her this, her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and her grin widened.
He hoped tonight wasn't the night she chose to break him into anal sex with a man. Knowing her evil streak, she'd bring home a very well endowed man to fuck the living shit out of him.
Glancing at Mrs. Crenshaw, Sascha cringed.
Following Christine inside, he stopped just inside the doorway.
Sascha pulled off his shirt. Untying and stepping out of his shoes, he set them aside, then removed the remainder of his clothes.
Sascha groaned. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved the cock ring. His erection was already at half-mast when he slipped the ring on securely.
Christine smiled, licking her lips while touching his cock. "Let's get that thing nice and hard," she giggled.
Sascha stood in the doorframe, his head peaking out to see who was around. Feeling Christine's suit against his naked ass made him tremble.
"Come on," she yelled harshly. "What are you waiting for? My luggage isn't going to get itself."
Walking quickly toward the car, Sascha caught sight of Mrs. Crenshaw's widening grin as he went around to the passenger side of the car, hiding his nudity from his neighbor.
Grabbing her suitcase, he hurriedly paced back to the front door, greeted by a stolid frown. "Next time, you'll come back on her side."
"Damnit," he muttered.
"Oh, I heard that. There will be a spanking for that later." Christine looked at her watch. "Oops, I forgot my briefcase. Go."
Sascha went back out and grabbed the briefcase from the car, this time walking around to the driver's side door, giving Mrs. Crenshaw a better glimpse of his cock. Shutting the door, he wondered just how wet Christine was, watching her pet strut about the front yard in the buff. It didn't matter. Now that all the blood was draining south, his head hurt more.
"Come here, pet." She extended both hands.
Handing her the briefcase, he took her other hand and was led inside briefly, where Christine's lips fell on his. Parting his lips for her invading tongue, Sascha's cock hardened to the point of pain as she explored his mouth. A hand went to the back of his head, pressing him deeper into the kiss before her tongue slowly withdrew from his mouth
"Follow me." Her whisper vibrated against his ear. Christine led him back outside, opening the driver's side door. "Kneel."