A lot of people are curious about the world of swinging - and here is just the book for those who have been looking for a guide to that new and sexy world: [The Swingers, Book I] Women In Control by Dax St. James
A woman introduces her new man friend to the mysterious world of swinging. Read this eye-opening, first person account of people who have dared to admit to themselves that monogamy is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and for some monogamy = monotony. Enter this strange realm, which many outsiders think is just a male wet dream, but where women actually call all the shots. Far from being weird or freaks, swingers are normal everyday people from all walks of life. For a lot of adventurous men and women swinging is too frightening to explore. But for others, it can be a marriage-saving and life-changing experience. Let Dax St. James be your guide to the wildly erotic, but carefully structured and bounded, territory of swinging in all its aspects. This book reveals that what most people believe about swinging is wrong and dispels many myths about swingers (see below). With the first book in this combination true confessions and guidebook, St. James shares his experiences of one couple in a strange land, with advice. humor and honesty.
Ten Top Myths about the Swinging Lifestyle
Myth-Swinging is just an excuse for men to cheat on their wives
Reality-The swinging lifestyle is a couple’s lifestyle in which both the husband and wife partake in the sex together. One of the compelling reasons couples get into the swinging lifestyle is to expand their sexual horizons and carry out some of their sexual fantasies in a safe venue.
Myth-The swinging lifestyle is a man’s world that is demeaning to women. Women are forced into it.
Reality-The tone of the swinging lifestyle is set by the women. Swinging is a Jekyll and Hyde experience for the couple allowing them to enter a second life. Whether it is the dress, sexual behavior or attitude, it is the women who go through the greater transformation from Dr. Jekyll to Ms. Hyde. As a consequence women find themselves in control, not the men. There is not much “forcing” taking place.
Myth-Swingers are typically “trailer park trash” low life people.
Reality-The swinging lifestyle is made up of people from all walks of life. There are doctors, lawyers and Indian chiefs in the lifestyle. Nurses, teachers, flight attendants and housewives. Your neighbor could be a swinger, however your typical swinger is discrete and does not advertise their choice of lifestyle.
Myth-Swinging is just about wife swapping.
Reality-This is perhaps the greatest misconception of swinging. Swinging is a lifestyle. It is about couples escaping into a second life that includes erotic evenings, vacations, parties and events. The friendships couples make in the lifestyle transcends the sex. You shift into a world of like minded people who are there to have fun. Sex is simply the icing on the cake.
Myth-Swingers are mostly old out of shape married people.
Reality-The age group of swingers spans from the Gen X and Y couples to Boomers. However a common theme in all age groups is to be in good physical shape. Since there is a sexual theme central to the experience most people want to look good. There is no shortage of extremely attractive swinging couples in the lifestyle.
Myth-If I go into a swing club or event I must have sex with someone.
Reality-Sex in the swinging lifestyle is totally optional. Many couples who come into a swing club (or other venue) are there for the erotic atmosphere. Some couples come so that the female half can dress in a revealing outfit. Some come for the erotic dancing, or the meeting of like minded people and friends. Sex is optional not mandatory.
Myth-Most women in the swinging lifestyle are prostitutes or promiscuous women.
Reality-If there are prostitutes in the swinging lifestyle it is because they are there with their spouse as a normal swinging couple. The concept of a prostitute going to a swing club or event and attempting to charge for sex is much like taking sand to the beach. Female swingers are no more promiscuous in their “normal” life than their non swinging counterparts. The lifestyle is about allowing promiscuity without criticism if that is your choice. There are multiple reasons women are in the swinging lifestyle.
Myth-There is significant drug use in the swinging lifestyle.
Reality-There is no more drug use in the swinging lifestyle than in non-swinging venues. Probably less. Your typical swinger couple wants to be coherent when they are meeting people and having fun. There is drinking, but not to excess. Who wants to have sex with a drugged out drunk?
Myth-There is a lot of sexual disease in the swinging lifestyle.
Reality-A great majority of swinger couples practice safe sex. Sexually transmitted diseases in the swinging lifestyle are extremely rare.
Myth-Swingers have no rules. It is about mindless sex orgies.
Reality-Nothing could be further from the truth. All swingers have rules. Each couple sets the parameters of what they can handle sexually. There are many forms of swinging. Some couples are soft swingers and restrict their sexual contact. Some couples prefer a one on one encounter. Some couples prefer threesomes. Some couples enjoy separate play, and yes some couples prefer orgies. The sex couples engage in is their option. The keys are that the couple agrees up front on what works for them and that the swinging lifestyle provides you with a safe venue in which to engage in your sexual fantasies.